Let’s start the New Year with some sweet pictures and funny things about wildlife.

It turns out, ‘Fox News’ has no actual coverage of foxes.

A skunk, a deer, and a duck went out to dinner.  When it came time to pay, the skunk didn’t have a scent and the deer didn’t have a buck, so they put the meal on the duck’s bill.

How do you stop a skunk from smelling?  Hold its nose!

Why do foxes have a winter coats?  Because they’d look silly in sweaters!

Where do deer get their coffee?  Star-bucks!

I saw a chipmunk this morning cycling through the park.  I didn’t realize that they could ride bikes.

Why did the deer get braces?  He had buck teeth!

Where do young squirrels go to learn?  Elemen-tree school!

A vulture tries to get on an airplane with roadkill under each wing. The pilot stops him saying, “Sorry sir, you’re only allowed one carry-on”.

Why were the foxes hunting rabbits?  They were in the mood for fast food!

A wise squirrel once said, “You are what you eat.”  He was nuts.

In northern Ontario, the leading cause of car accidents is deer.  Seems odd since they can’t even drive! But to be serious for a moment – Drivers – please slow down!

A man in a car, with a skunk in the front seat, was stopped by the police.  “What are you doing with that skunk?  You should take it to the zoo.”  The next week, the same policeman stops the man again, and notices that the skunk is still in the car.  The policeman says, “I thought you were going to take that skunk to the zoo!”  The man replied, “I did. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!”

What did the vet say after the rabbit died?  Hare today, gone tomorrow!

What dance did the vixen do at the talent show?  The foxtrot!

A man in a movie theatre notices what looks like a porcupine sitting next to him, and says, “Are you a porcupine?”  The animal replies that it is.  Surprised, the man says, “What are you doing at the movies”?  The Porcupine replied, “Well, I liked the book.”

My friend found a deer stuck in a fence.  It took him four hours to rescue it.  He’ll do anything for a buck.

I was at the bank yesterday, and was surprised to see a squirrel sitting at a desk in an office.  Turns out he was the branch manager.

A friend just inherited his parent’s deer breeding business.  It is worth worth 10 million bucks.  That’s a lot of doe.

What is a squirrel’s favourite ballet?  The Nutcracker!

And finally, you just have to love those raccoons!  They are clever, resourceful, and work together for the common good.  No joke.  Humans, take note.

                                                    

Wildlife Love and Humour
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